TTOM
by NettieC
Summary: Life has its challenges...no matter if you're a woman of 12 or 47...or you just love them.


Disclaimer: Not mine

Harm hated his wife…well, not hate. He could never hate her. He had never hated her; not when their marriage was in turmoil, not when they were separated and living on opposite coasts. This was more of an extreme dislike at the fact he was at home in San Diego and she was in DC for a few days catching up with the Roberts and visiting her OBGYN who had relocated to Bethesda six months earlier and with whom Mac had developed a trusting relationship. After visiting the replacement doctor and being less than impressed with his care, Mac had sought out Dr Hargreaves for a second opinion. While it may seem extreme to go cross-country for a medical appointment, Mac had been having a couple of problems of late and Harm was very supportive of her going anywhere and seeing anyone she liked.

What he was cursing was her going away these particular days.

Ella had come home from school the day before looking pale and feeling unwell. He had done all the right things yet still, in the early hours of the morning, she was experiencing abdominal pain.  
>"Daddy," she had cried, crawling into her mother's empty space. "My tummy hurts."<br>Harm turned on the lamp before caressing his daughter's face. "What sort of pain is it?" he asked, wondering about appendicitis.  
>"Don't really know," she said tearfully. "Like the cramps I got in my legs that time I ran the mini-marathon at school."<p>

Cramps…Cramps…CRAMPS!

The word may as well have been a bright neon sign lighting up the room. His beautiful 12 year old baby girl was having abdominal cramps…and after years of being with Mac as her husband and before that as a friend, cramps, abdominal cramps, usually equaled one thing – period.  
>"Okay, honey," he said, swinging his legs out and pulling on his robe. "I'll heat up one of those wheat pack things mom uses when she has cramps."<br>"What sort of cramps does mom get?" she asked, curling herself into a ball and hugging Mac's pillow.  
>Harm stopped in his tracks. "Um…tummy cramps…just like you," he said, opening the bedroom door.<br>"What causes them?" she asked, wishing her mother was home right now.  
>"Oh, I don't…" he muttered something as he went down the hallway, hoping Ella would be asleep before he returned. No such luck.<br>"It still hurts," were Ella's first words as Harm reappeared in the doorway.  
>"I'm sure it will feel better soon," he replied, sitting on his side of the bed and placing the wheat pack on top of the sheet, on top of her abdomen. "How does that feel?"<br>"Hot," she said with a sigh.  
>"You'll be fine, El," he said, stroking her head. "Just close your eyes and take some deep breaths."<p>

It wasn't long before Ella drifted off to sleep as Harm lay there watching her. Where had the 12 years gone? Where had the gorgeous toddler in pretty pink overalls gone? When had his precious daughter transitioned from child to adolescence? Grabbing his cell, Harm was about to call Mac but realised that, even with the time difference, it would still be too early on the east coast to call.

Instead, he closed his eyes and tried to sleep. Although he was sleeping lightly, it was still deep enough to dream. In his dream, Ella was in her 20's and getting married. She was the image of her mother and looking absolutely radiant in her stunning gown. He awoke in a sweat.  
>"Where are you going?" Harm asked as he watched Ella climb out.<br>"Just to the bathroom," she replied, padding across to her parents' bathroom.

For the whole time Ella was in the bathroom, Harm held his breath. With his fingers crossed underneath the covers, he was praying her period hadn't started, and then it dawned on him that he should be far more supportive of her.

When she re-emerged and climbed back into bed, Harm handed her the heat pad back and adjusted the covers.  
>"How are your cramps now?" he asked, sitting up in the bed.<br>"Okay," she said with a yawn. "I just feel yucky."  
>Harm drew a deep breath; it was time to man up and confront the issue, well, dad up in this case.<br>"Ella, do you remember mom talking to you about you going through puberty and how you would get your period soon?" he said and Ella nodded. "Well, I think this might be a sign that it's coming very soon."  
>"Really?" she asked, eyes wide and filled with concern.<br>"Really," he said with a nod. "Mom gets cramps like that when she has her period and feels a bit yucky too."  
>"Is it going to really hurt?" she asked, knowing her mom had lots of problems with her periods.<br>"No, sweetie," he said, caressing her face. "It might feel a little uncomfortable but it shouldn't hurt any more than the cramps you have now."  
>"So, should I put in one of those pad things mom bought me?" she questioned sitting up once more.<br>"Might be a good idea," he said, preferring to be safe than sorry. "Do you know how too?" he asked, crossing his fingers once more.  
>"Yeah, mom showed me," she said taking the heat pack with her as she headed back to her bedroom to get one of the pads her mother had organised for her. Using the other bathroom, Ella went through the motions her mother had shown her and was soon tucked up in her own bed.<p>

When he hadn't seen or heard from her in 15 minutes, Harm got up and went to investigate, smiling in relief when he found her asleep in bed, still not too old to have her teddy bear tucked under her arm.

Morning came around all too soon and though his sleep had been interrupted, he still had responsibilities and children to organise. Just as he had handed over Ruby and David's bowls of cereal, Ella appeared at the door and looked at him tearfully.  
>"What's wrong?" he asked, padding across to her.<br>"It started," she whispered, not wanting anyone else to hear.  
>"And how are you feeling?" he asked, raking his fingers through her hair.<br>"Tired and blah," she said sadly, her interrupted sleep doing nothing for her sense of wellbeing.  
>"What if you and I have a special day today?" he said, caressing her face.<br>"What sort of special day?" she questioned.  
>"Well, today is an important day," he said, "You're no longer a little girl and are now a young lady...and I think you should do something special. That's if you want..."<br>"Oh, I want," she said. "What can we do?" she asked more than happy to have a day off from school, especially with a double lesson of sport first thing.  
>"Well, if you're okay staying here while I take these two to school and preschool, we can make the plans when I get back, alright?" he said and Ella nodded before heading back to bed for a bit longer.<p>

Ella's choice was shopping, lunch and a movie and while she had a nice time with her dad and was more than happy being spoilt, she did really want her mom. She knew her dad had been trying his best and that he loved her but both had found the whole period aspect of the day a little uncomfortable.

Coming home just before five, Harm pulled into the driveway behind Trish's car, Harm grateful his mother was able to pick up and look after the youngest two so he could spend time with Ella. Mind you, he wasn't appreciative of his mother laughing at his discomfort when he explained things that morning.  
>"Hi, mom," he said coming into the kitchen. "Hello my two munchkins," he said moving to the table and kissing the heads of his youngest children.<br>"Hi, daddy!" they said in unison as Trish moved to Ella.  
>"Hello, sweetheart," she said hugging the child to her.<br>"Hi, grandma," she said, resting her head on Trish's chest.  
>"Are you okay, Ella?" she asked quietly, holding the child to her.<br>"Yeah," she said with a sigh. "Just wish mom was home."

Trish pulled back a little and caressed her face. "You know you can talk to me about things, don't you?"  
>Ella nodded. "Did dad tell you?"<br>"Yes," Trish said, not wanting to lie. Ella frowned. "He just wanted to make sure there was nothing else he was supposed to tell you...you have to remember boys and men don't have a lot of experience about these things."

Ella nodded but this time she smiled; she guessed she could understand her dad having to speak to grandma about it, after all, grandmothers knew more than mothers did.  
>"Can I get you something to eat or drink, sweetheart?" she asked, surprised Ella was still in her arms.<br>"Nope," she replied.  
>"Do you just want a big hug?" she asked and Ella nodded; that was exactly what she wanted.<p>

After waiting far too long for a grandchild, Trish never denied them anything and this time she was more than willing to stand in the kitchen forever and hold her precious granddaughter for as long as she needed. While she wouldn't admit it to the child, or to her son, she had cried when she had hung up from the phone call earlier in the day. While she knew Ella was nearly a teenager, she hadn't expected the emotions which came with the news she had her first period. After a difficult time with menopause and still experiencing hot flushes 15 years later, she figured she was just a little sensitive to these milestones in a woman's life.  
>"What's wrong with Ella?" David asked watching the pair and wondering why he was still waiting for his dinner when his sister already had hers.<br>"Nothing's wrong with Ella," Harm announced, moving behind the counter to pick up the bowl of spaghetti and meatballs for his son.  
>"Is she sick?" Ruby asked, looking at Harm. "She didn't go to school."<br>"No, she's not sick," Harm said and Ella looked at him praying he didn't reveal anything. "Ella wasn't well last night and was too tired for school today."  
>"Poor El," David said, getting down from his seat and coming around the bench and hugging her. "Hope you feel better soon."<br>"Me too," Ruby said, copying her brother.  
>"Thanks," she said, not even minding the spaghetti coloured handprints they left on her shirt.<p>

When night came and the youngest two were in bed, Ella sat on the sofa watching Glee. It was a happy episode but she felt like crying and couldn't explain it. Looking up from the book he was reading, Harm caught the look on her face.  
>"You okay, El?" he asked, putting the book down beside him.<br>"Aha," she replied, wiping her face and trying to hide her tears; something her mother did too.  
>"Ella?" he said, more slowly and quietly.<br>"I don't know why I'm crying," she said looking at him. "I just am."  
>"That's okay," he said, reaching over and rubbing her back. "It's the hormones," he said. "It makes you feel happy and sad and angry and often all at once."<br>"Is it the same for mom?" she asked and Harm nodded; his wife's mood swings were often severe during her time of the month but he knew that was the effects of the endometriosis more than just ordinary menstruation. "Good," Ella said, she was feeling anything but normal and it helped a little to know it was the same for her mom. Now, only if her mother could be there with her.

As the credits rolled, Ella turned to her father. "It's Friday tomorrow," she said and he nodded. "Do I have to go to school?" she asked, "It's the swimming carnival and I'm not competing and..."  
>"You had today off," Harm interjected.<br>"I know but it's not as if I'll miss anything and I really don't feel like going and ..." she rambled.  
>"Ella, you can't stay home from school just because you have your period," he said gently.<br>"I know," she said with a nod, "Just this time," she said earnestly. "Mom will be home tomorrow and I really want to talk to her and..." the tears started once more.  
>"Okay, okay," he conceded, wrapping her in an arm. "One more day isn't going to do any harm."<br>"Thank you, dad," she said holding him tightly.

Deciding they could both do with an early night, Harm picked up the remote and pressed the on/off button before standing up.  
>"Okay, kiddo," he said, offering her his hand and helping her up. "Bedtime."<br>"Do I get a later bedtime now I'm no longer a little girl?" she asked hopefully.  
>"We'll discuss that with your mother," he said with a smile; the child had argued bedtimes since she could talk.<br>"Discuss what with me?" Mac asked, surprising them both.  
>"Mom!" Ella said running over to her and wrapping her arms around her tightly.<br>"Hey, Ella," Mac said kissing the child's head. "I take it you missed me."  
>"So much," she mumbled not letting go.<br>"Are you okay?" she asked and that was all it took for Ella to start crying again.  
>"Hey, hey, hey, what is it?" she asked holding her tightly. "What's wrong?" she asked before looking up to Harm for some answers.<p>

Leaning in he kissed her cheek. "Hi gorgeous," he said, "I'm glad you're home too," he said, kissing her cheek again. That wasn't the answer she was looking for. "I'm going to go get ready for bed while you and El have a chat," he said, tilting his head, hoping his wife would pick up what he meant...not knowing how she would.  
>"A chat?" she asked. "What sort of chat?"<br>"A girly chat...you know, woman to woman," he said slowly and Mac's eyes widened.  
>"You mean...?" she mouthed and Harm nodded.<br>"Can I get you a drink or something to eat?" he asked, caressing her face. Mac shook her head, as hungry as she was, her daughter was far more important. "What about you, sweetie? I can make my famous chocolate fudge sundae for you?"  
>Ella lifted her head and looked from her mother to her father. "I'd like that, dad...thanks."<br>"In that case, I'd love one too," Mac said.

As soon as Harm had left the room, Mac sat in the armchair and Ella sat across her knee, not wanting to be too far from her at all.  
>"Talk to mommy," Mac said, caressing the child's face, one hand still wrapped tightly around her.<br>"Didn't dad tell you?" she asked tearfully and Mac shook her head. "Oh," Ella said. "He told grandma."  
>"Maybe that's because he needed grandma's help," Mac offered.<br>"He did, he wanted her to pick up the kids because he took me out today," she said playing with the buttons on her mother's shirt.  
>"Really?" Mac asked. "Where did he take you?"<br>"He said it was an important day as I was no longer a little girl and we could do something special," Ella said, still not looking at her mother.  
>"And where did you go?" Mac asked, thinking of all the brownie points her husband had earned today.<br>"I chose to go shopping and to lunch and a movie," she said. "Dad was pretty cool and all but I would have rather it was you."  
>"Oh sweetie," Mac said, kissing her head. "I'm sorry I wasn't home."<br>"It's alright," Ella said with a sigh. "Can we talk now?"  
>"Of course we can," Mac said looping her arms around the child's waist and relaxing into the chair.<p>

Taking his time to change into his pyjamas, Harm checked on the two sleeping children before heading back to the kitchen. Pausing at the living room doorway, Harm listened for a moment and shook his head when he heard them discussing types of sanitary products. In the kitchen, he pulled out two of the larger bowls and put three scoops of vanilla ice cream in each before adding some chopped strawberries, bananas, marshmallows and almond flakes.

Throwing a sachet of chocolate fudge into the microwave, he waited the 60 seconds before cutting it open and emptying it between the two bowls. Grabbing the Dairy Whip, something he didn't like at all but his girls did, he sprayed a generous swirl of whipped cream on each before covering the top in sprinkles.

Getting napkins and spoons for the pairs, Harm headed back to the living room.  
>"Any takers for two scrumptious sundaes?" he asked lifting the bowls up.<br>"Me please," said Mac putting up her hand.  
>"Me too, please," Ella said reaching out for the other one.<p>

As Ella climbed off her mother's lap to reposition herself on the sofa and make it easier to eat, Harm disappeared once more before returning with two bottles of water and handed them one each.  
>"This is yummy! Thanks, dad," she said with a mouthful of ice cream.<br>"You're welcome, El," he said. "Now, if there's nothing else I can help you ladies with, I might just take my book and go do some reading in bed."

Forty minutes later, Mac opened the bedroom door and closed it behind her before making her way around the bed and sat facing her husband.  
>"Hello," he said, closing his book and putting it down beside him.<br>"Hello, yourself," she said leaning in and giving him a proper kiss hello.  
>"Glad you're home," he said when she pulled back.<br>"It's nice to be missed," she said, standing and starting to undress for bed, Harm watched intently.  
>"How did your appointment go?" he asked, reaching out and taking her hand.<br>"Okay," she said slowly. "Sort of..."  
>"What happened?" he asked tugging her back to him.<br>"Dr Hargreaves was good," Mac said, sitting down once more. "Did a thorough exam...I explained my recent issues and what his replacement had done and said and ..." her voice trailed.  
>"And what?" Harm asked, tilting his head so she would look at him.<br>"He said pretty much the same thing," she said sadly. "The endometriosis is becoming more severe and given my age and the fact I have had children that maybe I might want to make a decision."

While Harm knew what the decision was, he wanted to hear it from Mac.  
>"Which decision?" he asked and Mac stared at him, not believing he was going to make her go into this again.<br>"Whether we are done having children and want to consider a hysterectomy," she said standing up once more.  
>"Are we done having children?" he asked gently and Mac nodded.<br>"I'm 47," she said, "We have three beautiful children..."  
>"I know," he said, swinging his legs out and standing up.<br>"So, I figure I'm done having babies..." she said turning to the chest of drawers and searching for her nightgown.  
>"Does that mean you're having the hysterectomy?" he asked, resting his hand on her arm and trying to get eye contact with her.<br>"I may be too old for babies but I'm too young for menopause or do you think I'm old and over the hill too?" she asked before stalking off into the bathroom, not waiting for a response. Harm followed.  
>"Mac, Sarah," he said quietly moving to stand in front of her. "I don't think of you as old at all, you know that," he said, draping his arms over her shoulders. "Having the surgery or not having the surgery is entirely your decision, either way I will support you and love you."<p>

Mac moved into his arms and rested her head on his chest. She knew that would be his response, it was the same thing he had said after her last visit to an OBGYN. This time, however, the reality was she had the second opinion and there was no doubt she was headed to surgery at sometime in the next few months. She couldn't help the tears which fell, tears for her own condition, tears for the fact her little girl was growing up, tears for the fear her daughter may have inherited the same condition.  
>"It's okay, it's okay," Harm soothed, wrapping her in his arms.<br>"I know," she said tearfully. "Just all a part of life," she said philosophically.  
>"It is," he replied before kissing her briefly.<p>

A knocking on their bedroom door interrupted their moment together.  
>"I'll go," he said, kissing her forehead.<p>

Opening the door, Harm smiled at the sight of Ella standing there with her teddy bear.  
>"Dad, I just wanted to say thank you and goodnight and to give you Teddy," she said handing him over. "Now I'm not a little girl, I don't think I need him anymore."<br>"Oh, okay," Harm said, a lump rising in his throat, Teddy was the pale brown bear he had bought for her on the day she was born. "Are you sure?" Ella nodded slowly. "Well, I'd love to have Teddy but know he can go and visit with you at anytime."

Hugs and kisses later, Ella took herself to bed while Harm went and sat on the bed, holding Teddy tightly and ignoring the tears on his face.  
>"I heard," Mac said, coming across the room and standing in front of him. "You okay?" she asked using her thumb to wipe away his tears.<br>"Aha," he all but whimpered.  
>"Oh, you poor thing. You've had a tough day too, haven't you?" Mac said, wrapping her arms around him and kissing his head. While it may have been his girls going through life's changes it didn't mean it was any less emotional for him. "Come on," she said pulling back the covers and waiting for him to get in. When he did, she rounded the bed and slipped in alongside him, not surprised Teddy was still in his grasp.<p>

As sleep claimed them, Teddy remained tucked in tight. He would remain a fixture in the master bedroom for a couple of months until one day he mysteriously reappeared tucked under Ella's arm. When he went in to check on her one night, Harm could only smile at the sight. His daughter may be growing up but she hadn't really outgrown anything at all.


End file.
